Rose's Birthday
by Zombie Kitty
Summary: A little random fic about what happens when Rose & The Doctor go to visit Jackie near Rose's birthday. Mostly about The Doctor having to help out Jackie get ready for a 'suprise' birthday party much to his disgust
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything...Except a Doctor Who poster, a model TARDIS and a VERY cute David/Doctor model...And I bought them with my own money!

Well I apologise for this fic which has come from ramblings with Lar - a fellow DW fan (reddwarfaddict) on MSN, and just generally just being too hyper. Anyway, read on and review if you want. Other chapters to come soon...

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**Rose's Birthday**

The Doctor walked casually along the walkway, about 10 paces behind Rose who was running ahead excitedly towards her mum's flat.

"Mum!" She called as she opened the door and ran in, only to be also immediately caught in a hug by Jackie.

"Oh it's so good to see you!" She said, finally releasing her daughter and turning to The Doctor who was closing the door behind him.

"Oh no, no, no, no!" The doctor protested uselessly as he was trapped by Jackie too – He had battled Daleks, Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Slytheen, and maybe even the Devil itself, yet he still couldn't stop getting hugged and kissed by Rose's bloody mother!

Finally The Doctor managed to escape and he slinked off into the sitting room and sat down on the settee putting his feet up on the coffee table as he reached over for the remote.

"Oi! Feet!" Jackie barked over at him before turning back to chat excitedly with Rose.

The Doctor sighed and moved his feet as he flicked through the channels.

"Look at this cute little present I got you mum from a market on Alterdom!" Rose said as she reached over and grabbed a little landscape dome from a pocket in her rucksack.

"…It's a desert snow globe!" Jackie replied incredulously as she took the present from her daughter and put it on a shelf.

"Yeah, well it snows in the desert there." Rose retorted as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Suddenly Jackie pulled her into another tight hug. "Happy birthday darling!"

"Mum! My birthday isn't till tomorrow." Rose said as she glanced at the calendar on the wall and struggled out of her mothers grip.

"Yeah, well I don't know if you and him are going to stay that long before you go swanning off again to God knows where!" Jackie retorted in a hurt tone causing her to be then hugged by Rose.

"Oh mum of course we'll stay!"

"We will?" The Doctor asked, looking up from an episode of Neighbours where some people were arguing over affairs and kids and crap.

"Yes." Rose said firmly, even though she knew she would really prefer to be 'swanning off' with The Doctor having adventures than hanging round with here – But it wouldn't be fair to her mum…And it would be fun to be here for her birthday.

"Great!" Jackie said excitedly. "I'll go ring round everyone – Gotta have a party!"

"No, mum-" Rose protested half heartedly, but it was no use as Jackie picked up the phone and began dialling.

"This should be fun." The Doctor sighed.

"You think?" Rose asked as she sat down next to him.

"No!"

"Well what was I supposed to say? Sorry mum but I have a prior engagement with adventure and possible death!?" Rose hissed

"…It was an option!...Gah! Why is there never an alien invasion when you need it!?" He added as he turned off the TV in defeat…


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own any rights to anything Doctor Whoish, and if you think I do you must be from Thicktown, Thickania.

Well, here's chapter two - Actually just finished chapter 4 but I'm spreading out posting the chapters a little, Thanks for the reviews and now after reading this pointless A/N, you can read on:

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The Doctor groaned and opened his eyes as he felt someone hit his legs.

"Oi, get up lazy bones, I need some help to get everything ready for later!"

Jackie.

"Get off!" He snapped as she slapped his legs again. Eventually he sat up on the settee. He had wanted to go back to the TARDIS but Jackie had insisted the settee was more than good enough…For someone who didn't mind waking up completely stiff and being hit maybe.

"Well aren't you a cranky morning person! You should be more good natured when you wake up – Helps you have a sunny disposition when working…Not that you have ever really 'worked' as we would – That's what you need! A nice honest 9 to 5 job, maybe down at the garage – You seem good with all that fixing stuff, like Mickey was. I've done you some breakfast – That should wake you up! A nice fry up, a few good meals might help your snoring as well!" Finally Jackie stopped talking and moved off to the kitchen as The Doctor tried to understand the garbled mess she had just said.

"…I don't snore!" He replied indignantly as he pushed off the duvet and stood up, smoothing down the creases in his suit.

"Where's Rose?" He asked with a yawn as he walked barefoot into the kitchen and was handed a plate of greasy eggs, bacon, mushrooms and other things that turned The Doctor's stomach.

"Out with Shareen, that way she's out of here till the party." Jackie said before taking a drink of tea.

"But she knows about the party." The doctor replied as he pushed the pile of grease around on his plate.

"God, do you have to take the fun out of everything? Party is at 5, but Shareen ain't bringing Rose back till 5:30 – that way we have time to get all the guests ready and hide. Oh we have so much to do! The decorations, the cake, the buffet, the music!" Jackie explained excitedly to a disheartened Doctor.

"What time is it now?" He asked as he put the plate back on the table.

"Nearly 11am."

"Oh fu-"

"Come on!" Jackie said happily, cutting the Doctor off mid expletive as she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back into the sitting room.

"Will you let go!" He protested grumpily.

"Fine! Go find your shoes and we can go shopping. It's not a good idea to walk around barefoot, you could get all nasty kinds of cuts and splinters which causes gangrene and trips to –" The Doctor tuned out, trying to ignore the white noise that was Jackie as he slipped on his converses and passed her moodily and opened the door.

"Are you even listening to me!?"

The Doctor sighed – And this was why he didn't get involved with the families…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** don't own owt

Well here's chapter 3. Just watched Torchwood - VERY cool ep, though my friends on msn who were watching it too were like 'shoot her!' when Ianto had the gun - they just wanted the gun splatter lol. anyway, read on...

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"Where do you think you're going!? Stop wandering off and help me!" The Doctor groaned inwardly at Jackie's voice. His attempt to slink out of the Clinton Cards store had failed and now everyone was looking at them – He suddenly had a feeling of empathy for little kids everywhere being bossed around by their parents and embarrassed in public… Except for the little brats who sprayed graffiti on his beloved TARDIS of course.

He slowly made his way over to Jackie who was holding a birthday card in each hand.

"Hmmm – Which card do you think says 'Happy birthday my time travelling, alien fighting daughter'? The one with the girl and the kitten, or the glittery one?" Jackie asked The Doctor thoughtfully.

The Doctor resisted the urge to bash his head in on the wall – After all, it wouldn't be fair on the staff who would have to clear up all the blood…Besides, he didn't fancy dying right now - Regeneration was so messy and tiring…And not the best good thing to do in a busy shop and in front of Rose's mother – She could die of shock…Not that that would be a totally bad thing right now.

"Whichever." He said eventually, getting a look of disdain from Jackie.

"Fat lot of use you are – I might as well just ask the floor's opinion!" She said with a shake of her head as she chose the kitten card which was blank inside – She could write her own special message.

"Good, can I go then?" The Doctor 'asked' breezily as he made to leave, but was stoppedt by Jackie grabbing his arm.

"No!" She replied indignantly, causing The Doctor to groan quietly.

When we've finished with all the decorations ad cards and stuff we better go to Iceland for nibbles and paper plates and cups, etc...For the guests, and then go find a nice prezzie for Rose." Jackie told him.

The Doctor groaned louder. When would the torture end!? He felt like he'd been shopping with Jackie for DAYS! He glanced at a nearby clock…11:30am…Damn…

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The Doctor was tired and carrying several carriers full of crap Jackie had bought – But she still wasn't done yet and it was now 1:34pm – Forget days, it felt like bloody years he had been traipsing round with her."Can we just go now!?" He asked, very close to breaking point now.

"Not yet – You still need to get her a gift." Jackie replied as she walked ahead of him through racks and racks of discounted designer clothing.

"But I gave her the gift of time travel!" He protested, causing Jackie to turn and stare at him.

"Cheapskate!"

The Doctor blinked and gaped open mouthed at Jackie in disbelief as she started walking on ahead to the jewellery section.

The Doctor found a bench and sat down feeling knackered. He dumped the many bags of shopping and searched for 1 of the 3 boxes of Jelly Babies he had made Jackie get on the pretext of them being for the party guests.

He found them, opened them and was just about to put one in his mouth when he caught Jackie glairing at him, arms folded. The Doctor sighed and ate the sweet anyway as he stood up.

As Jackie turned away The Doctor quickly emptied the box of Jelly Babies into his deep coat pockets and tossed the box away.

"What was that?" Jackie asked sternly, turning round.

"Nothing!" The Doctor replied angelically as he scooped up the bags of shopping and followed her…


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Making no money from this, and don't own any rights to Doctor Who, etc...

Well here's chapter 4 people. thanks for all the reviews,and to whoever said The Doctor was more 9th than 10th, he probably is - I knew I couldn't keep them properly in character, but nevermind lol...

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"Oh Rose will just LOVE these!" Jackie squeaked as she showed him a pair of the most huge and chavvy earrings The Doctor had ever seen in his life.

"And look! Matching bracelets! I'll give her the earrings and you the bracelets!" She continued happily, causing The Doctor to frown.

"…What would I want with bracelets? He asked, causing Jackie to roll her eyes dramatically.

"Not for you silly! – For you to give Rose as a prezzie!"

"Oh." The Doctor said before dropping the shopping near Jackie and wandering off into the shoes section to munch on some more Jelly Babies.

He looked idly round the various shoes before a display caught his eyes. He bit the head off an orange Jelly Baby and went over. They were converses, not too dissimilar to his own, but obviously less shabby, and in women's sizes.

The Doctor expertly threw the rest of the sweet into the air and caught it in his mouth before picking up a pair and took them to a nearby sales assistant.

"Can I get a box for these?" He muttered as he handed the shoes over then looked round for Jackie who was back in the discounted clothing section, deciding what new top to get for the party.

"And how you will be paying sir? Cash or Credit?" The sales assistant asked smarmily as he started to place the shoes in a box.   
"Jackie." The Doctor replied as he hid the box under the mountain of other things Jackie had accumulated whilst looking round the store…

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"Now. That's the cake mix done." Jackie said with a satisfied sigh before batting The Doctor's hand away as he tried to get at some of the creamy chocolate.

"Oi. Hands off!" She scolded, much to The Doctor's annoyance who leaned back against the kitchen door as she put the cake tin with cake mix into the oven.

"The timer's broke on the oven so here's this little hand one. Keep an eye on it and put the decorations up will ya?" Jackie commanded rather than asked as she peeled off her apron and after grabbing her bag, made for the door.

"Hang on – Where are you going?" The Doctor asked, moving aside to let her pass.

"Gonna go ask Benji down the bingo hall if he'll DJ for us. Put out the snack food for everyone, make yourself useful. Folding table is in the coat cupboard. Oh and stop eating the damn Jelly Babies!" And with that Jackie slammed the door shut, leaving The Doctor staring open mouthed in shock for the second time that day.

He finally shook his head and glanced at the clock. 3.14pm…Yay…The Doctor sighed and went to find the folding table Jackie had mentioned – Maybe he could bash her head in when she came back and blame it on aliens…


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I really _really_ don't own anything Doctor Who related...Duh!

Well here's part 5. Not updated in a few days, due to being busy with reading and writing CSI fics, sorry sorry about that everyone (and Lar) so this update should keep you happy for a bit (stares pointedly at Lar). Anyway, I think this is where the fic looses the normality a bit, but...meh. Oh yeah - meant this chapter to be a bit longer but decided to split it, so the next (and quite possibly last) chapter will be the party!

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The Thybaid alien from the Nesta Galaxy was pissed – He had almost succeeded in his top secret mission to kill The Doctor, having tracked him down to the planet Earth via a small tracking device hidden on the under sole of his shoe on their last encounter. 

But it was unfortunate that Thybaid's happened to share more than a passing resemblance to small sticks of butter. So just as he was about to fire a tiny death ray at The Doctor, whilst crouching on the kitchen counter, it was just sheer bad luck that in the middle of another at The Doctor, Jackie Tyler had mistaken the alien for actual butter and tossed it in her cake mixing bowl.

It was probably also bad luck for The Doctor that as he began to set up those damned decorations and set out the nibbles for the 'surprise' party, that the Thybaid had a reaction to being put in a cake and cooked, so thus mutated…

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The Doctor put another Jelly Baby in his mouth and in the same way a sulky teenager would, set out paper cups and plates and poured out various snacks. 

A sudden pop from the kitchen distracted him…_Oh fantastic!_ He thought to himself as he saw through the oven door that the cake had exploded – And the timer was no way finished, so Jackie couldn't blame him…Though she probably would anyway.

He sighed and opened the door to assess the damage, so was more than a little surprised to have a angry…Well cake monster leap at him out from the oven at him, throwing him to the floor and burning his skin – The cake thing was after all _hot _from being baked.

Had The Doctor being a normal man he would have probably stopped to wonder the logistics of an actual living cake monster attacking him, with bits of…It, flying off round the kitchen – But then no one could ever accuse The Doctor of being a normal man.

A point that was certainly backed up as he pushed the thing off him, groaning that his coat was now covered in cake gunk and reached for something to hit it with...What killed cake?

Then The Doctor grinned, baring his teeth as the thing launched again, pining him to the floor, seemingly trying to swallow the poor Doctor up.

He didn't give the monster a chance though, instead reaching over and taking a clean bite out of what looked like a left arm. The monster howled in anguish and got ready to bite The Doctor's head off…Unfortunately for it, The Doctor bit its head of quicker, causing the monster to suddenly stand up and run around in a panic – now being headless after all. Probably would have being screaming too – If The Doctor wasn't chewing on its mouth of course…

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"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." The Doctor murmured about 10 minutes later as he licked the last bits of cakey goodness off his fingers. 

"What the hell have you done to my kitchen!?!?" Jackie squealed as she appeared in the doorway. "Damn right you're sorry!" She added, smacking him round the head.

"Ow!" The Doctor yelped, trying to escape from Jackie's wrath.

"And you ate the cake!"

"Well it tried to eat me first!" The Doctor argued, getting a glare from Jackie.

"Don't lie to me!...How the hell did you get it splattered everywhere!?" She asked incredously, before throwing a cloth at him.

"I'm going to go _buy_ a cake now – While I'm gone, clean up this mess." And then she was gone. The Doctor sighed, you'd have thought a woman almost killed by a Christmas tree would actually believe a story about cannibalistic cakes but noooooo!...


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Hey, I had killer cake monsters and butter like aliens in the last chapter - Do you really think that I could be responsible for Doctor Who with plots like that?...(thinks of the killer christmas trees and wax droids, etc... ) ...okay - maybe I _could _have - but I deffo didn't!

Hey there guys! This is the last chapter! And it is longer than the others, so yay to that. Also some of you may notice a little ref to one of my friend Lar's DW fics near the end that I threw in for the hell of it, hope you enjoy the end of the fic and the slight Rose/Doctor mushyness at the end - but in a friendly, platonic way of course!

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The Doctor sighed heavily and collapsed on the settee at 5:29pm. He wasn't sure quite how it was achieved, but the DJ had set up, a replacement cake was got, the kitchen was cleaned, the decorations were up, the food and drinks were laid out and the guests were mingling. 

He had helped a lot, mainly because Jackie kept threatening to kill him – 'Regerthingying Time Lord or not!'

He had even had time to go back to the TARDIS and change though to get rid of the cake monster remains…Though he's only put on an identical suit and coat – He had found clothes that suited his new persona so considering all the gunky monsters and things he encountered he really needed about a hundred replacements.

"Shhhhhhhh! She'll be back any minute! Hide!" Jackie squeaked, which made The Doctor roll his eyes, but not budge an inch – Where the hell were they supposed to hide? It wasn't like Jackie's flat could ever be said to have TARDIS like properties!

"Mum! We're back!" Rose called through as she and Shareen came through the front door carrying several bags of shopping – Looked to The Doctor like she had bought more than she was getting as presents!

Suddenly everyone jumped out from where they were hiding (badly) and shouted 'surprise!' and 'happy birthday!' The Doctor just stayed where he was and watched with a smile on his face as Rose acted surprised and gushed over everyone else happily…

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It was now 6:30pm, the cake had been cut and all the guest presents had been given – It was time for Jackie to give her and The Doctor's presents before the music and dancing started. 

"And finally – this is from me darling!" Jackie said excitedly, handing over the box with the chivvy earrings. "And he got you this to go with my gift – I had to pay of course but he chose it himself!" Jackie babbled on whilst Rose struggled to maintain a straight face as The Doctor vigorously denied everything Jackie was saying with shakings of his head and frantic had signals.

"Thanks mum – They're lovely!" She smiled, hugging her mum and then moving over to wrap her arms round The Doctor.  
"A bracelet?" She whispered in his ear with a giggle

"Don't ask, she took me shopping!" He whined, getting a sympathetic smile from Rose. "I did get you a present though." He added, causing Rose to raise her eyebrow at him as dance music began to play – unfortunately music could be classed as an overstatement as a Spice Girls song echoed round the flat.

"Really? Does mum know?"

"No, I…Hid it."

"Oh she'll love that – Anyway, before you show me it, what was all mum's moaning about 20 minutes ago about how you nearly ruined everything and that you were a greedy pig?" She asked with a smirk.  
"I am not greedy! The cake your mum put in the oven…Well exploded! So I went to see what I could do – and the damn thing attacked me!" He defended, causing Rose to burst out laughing.

"You were attacked by a cake!?"

"Cake MONSTER!"

"The sad thing is – I believe ya." She smiled, giving his arm a squeeze.

"Glad someone does." He sighed, glancing over at Jackie who was…Well he guessed it was SUPPOSED to be dancing, with a few others of Rose's old friends and neighbours.

"She's just not as used to the weirdness as I am." Rose shrugged as The Doctor led Rose into her old room which had everybody's coat piled on the bed.

The Doctor then lifted a box down off her wardrobe and handed it her. "Happy birthday Rose." He grinned in that childish lopsided way he did as he watched her blush slightly and thank him before opening it.

"Converses! Awww that's so cute! We have matching shoes – Like a uniform th…WHAT are you eating?" Rose asked suddenly, eyeing The Doctor suspiciously as he reached into his left pocket, picked something up, put it in his right, then lifted it out again and ate it – And then repeated the cycle.

The Doctor sighed like a guilty kid and pulled a jar out of his right coat picked and a handful of loose Jelly Babies from his left.

"Marmalade dunked Jelly Babies – Want any?" He asked as Rose rolled her eyes and laughed.

"No thanks." She said before sitting on her bed amongst the coats to try on her new shoes.

"Hey! How did you know my shoe size?" She asked, sounding slightly surprised, getting a shrug in response.

"I just remembered from that trip to the Tridon planet – When the gases in the air to some foreign life forms can cause side effect – Much similar to drunkenness."  
"Oh my God yeah! And we ended up dancing down the street wearing each other's shoes singing the 'Teen Titans' the tune!" Rose exclaimed excitedly, still laughing.

"Still don't know why we swapped shoes though." The Doctor added as Rose stood up and bounced up and down a bit in her shoes.

"Me neither." Rose shrugged in reply before reaching up and kissing The Doctor on the cheek. "Thank you – For these, and for helping mum – Without killing her."

The Doctor sighed and smiled cheekily. "It was difficult I tell you, today was almost as bizarre as the time I broke my leg and you, Jackie and Mickey dragged me on that 'family outing'."

Rose rolled her eyes at him yet again before walking back through to the party before Jackie caught The Doctor stealing the marmalade and Jelly Babies – It was likely to be a very entertaining argument to finish off her party, but not so much fun if her mum could accuse her of being an accessory after the fact.

She wondered idly if she would ever swap the life she had now for a 'normal' life, but then grinned as she realised that The Doctor nearly getting killed by stuff, being told off by Jackie, stealing snacks and then being so sweet and caring _was _normal – and she wouldn't have it any other way…

The End!


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